So, I often find myself thinking pretty low of myself and my abilities to succeed in basically everything. When I’m feeling low or disconnected from others, love, or myself, I usually search for inspiration elsewhere, which is A okay, but I just had a special moment with myself that revealed to me that I can get all the inspiration I need from myself, which is something I’ve never given myself credit for. I’ve been writing for fun basically ever since I’ve been able to write, whether it’s a poem, journal entry, prayers to whomever , quotes I made up or found inspirational, etc. I have been thinking a lot today about my future and what my future career may consist of. My absolute biggest dreams in life are to become a successful writer and to spend at least a few years traveling and exploring the world. How these dreams came about is a story for another day. 🙂 Eventually I found myself outside on the front porch smoking a cigarette and flipping through a few of my journals just to re read my past thoughts because I hadn’t looked at them in a while. I found a piece of folded paper tucked inside one of my journals, and it was just something random that I wrote down that really inspired me today. I’ll copy it here:
“Love is like complete vulnerability, but the tricky part is that- it’s hard for humans to be completely vulnerable because if you make yourself vulnerable to a person you’re like handing them your heart. The struggle comes from the fear of what the person we make ourselves vulnerable to may do with our hearts. We are giving people the freedom to be themselves, by loving them. Another tricky part about it is that while giving people freedom to be themselves, it can seem uncomfortable to us.
When the wo hm… just some thoughts. Lark McQueary Feb. 26th, 2013″
I’m aware that that’s not a million dollar thought, and it’s probably unclear to someone who didn’t have the thought and write it themselves, but the basic idea is that finding this really inspired me. I don’t necessarily mean Love as in just romantic Love, but any kind. It kind of goes along with the idea that the people we Love have the power to hurt us the most. It’s true. It also goes hand in hand with the quote ” The shadow proves the sunshine”. If you’ve never felt pain, had your feelings heart, felt heart-break, been lied to, than true, unconditional Love probably wouldn’t make us feel as whole. The shadow is being hurt, and the pain we feel after someone we made ourselves vulnerable to hurts us. The sunshine is the Love we give and receive to and from others, the Love that heals our hearts, our baggage and our long-lasting heart wounds. Sunshine creates life, just like Love creates life in our hearts. If we never made ourselves vulnerable to people, then no one would know who we truly are, and that would be a very lonely life. It’s tricky though, sometimes I see people avoiding Love, vulnerability, and basic connections with people because of how much they have been hurt. I can understand that logic, Why would you voluntarily give someone the power to break you? Unconditional Love is something that I try to practice every day. Towards EVERYONE, including myself, under all circumstances. Whether Shadow or Sunshine. 😉
Not to sound sappy, but if you happen to be reading this and find yourself hurting, confused, lost, lonely, or just need a friend, I’m available. There is a link to my Facebook on my blog, so feel free to message me, email me,post a comment, or whatever you prefer. 🙂 I’m not a guru or licensed therapist by any means, but I care about people, and I’m more than happy to do what I can to be a ray of sunshine in someones life. 🙂